Paul Evan Hughes
MFA in Interdisciplinary Arts Goddard G4 Packet04 Deeeeeeear Pam, Here’s another packet. Where oh where does the time go? I know this is a week early, but I have to leave town for a while on a grand tour of _____, and I know I won’t be shooting any more videos or starting any new books this week, so I’m sending this in anyways. You’re probably off shooting some blockbuster or romancing some unsuspecting American, so please feel free to disregard this packet until the actual due date. I’ll be working here and there on new Lonely Bears. Not much new to report. I’ve tried to keep busy with Goddard work, inane plumbing jobs for my insane landlord, and almost daily editing jobs from my Taiwanese clients. I’ve fallen in love with Walter Murch. Thanks, that’s just what I needed, another romantic entanglement! The Bear misses youuuuu. with much love,
Response to Pam’s Packet 03 Response: Dear Mr. Hughes, I am writing to beg for an audition for any and all upcoming films in your remarkable soon-to-be cult hit series The Lonely Bear. Sincerely, and with eager anticipation,
You got the part, young lady. I’ve always had a thing for redheads, and I suspect the Bear does, too. What I was thinking, as per your idea at some point for “An Hour with Lonely Bear,” was that at the next residency I’ll do just that, have a showing of all the bear videos, because let’s face it, video night sucks and never works, and I’d rather have the show all to myself because I’m an egomaniac. In conversation at the residencies, it always seems to come up that I’ve made all these horribly sad videos about horribly sad things. I know that that’s not all there is to me, and with the debut of the original LB video last residency, I hope that people started to see there’s a little more than suicide and sadness to my practice, and as such, I think people would get a kick out of An Hour with LB, since stuffed animals watching porn and smoking are cool. Okay, okay, so you are a little tired and burned out at packet 3. Get over it. There is work here, there is thinking here, and yes, there is also perhaps a little more life-distracting-art-and –study here too. Not the end of the world at all, and you really need to be a little kinder to yourself, not to mention that you need to learn to see the pulses and rhythms of process… whether creative, intellectual or any other kind for that matter. Yeah, I think I’m over it now. The past few months have been a meticulous re-creation of my standard neurochemical arrangement, since I decided that happy pills are bad for my art, my sex drive, and I’m just not that person. I’d rather be the swinging-back-and-forth-emotionally Paul who at least gets his work done, and I think my panic last packet was the last death throes of Celexa in my bloodstream. I might still be broken, but at least I feel like me again. There are ebbs and flows in the way we move through time… sometimes feeding, sometimes digesting or integrating what we have “consumed”… sometimes active, productive, white hot with the intense energy of speaking and making, and sometimes simply being relatively still and dealing with the details of life. The notion that we can or even ought to be making art (or writing, videos, films, objects, meaning, etc.) ALL the time, emerges I suspect from those old notions of the artist/genius, cut off from the ordinary world, and consumed to a point of obsessive-compulsion which “liberates” them from the banal details of the world everyone else inhabits. I confess that I like to think of myself as one of those solitary crazy artist types who works with white-hot energy all the time, always making, always doing, always showing something new. I get uncomfortable during those quiet times of digesting what I’ve done. I have a hard time processing the process. There’s guilt when I haven’t created something tangible (bad word.. is any video art “tangible”?) or haven’t done “enough” for a packet. I’m trying to get better at appreciating what I’ve done, looking back at it and processing before moving on to something bigger better faster now. And besides, being the kind of guy who would drive 300 miles to buy a girl a drink, speaks well and deeply in favour of your humanity… a quality I think essential to artistry, even if not one we hear about much in the stories they tell about Western Art History. Ahhhh, the girl. She’s a whole bunch of artistic possibility in and of herself. I lovehate the beginning of things. So, yes… the learning that lies in repetition holds wonderful possibilities. The iterations and versions which lie embedded in pretty well ANY set of images and sounds or texts could easily keep us busy for an entire career, and in fact one can look at the long careers of certain artists and see how they have continually worked and reworked the same themes, questions, and preoccupations, if not the same actual imagery. I kind of have to chuckle to myself when I think about how that ratty little stuffed bear has suddenly become a major focus of my artistic practice. He was omnipresent in my childhood, sat on top of a dresser for over a decade collecting dust (hidden during moments of embarrassed teenager girl-in-the-bedroomness), came with me to college when I realized that hey, girls like cute stuffed toys, right?, probably witnessed far too much drinking and debauchery there, and has now finally earned his place on the leopard-print futon with his friends and daily travels across the internet to make strangers laugh. Makes me wonder what other little items like that I have right now that I’ll tap into in the future for my artwork. I appreciate your discussion of public funding (government support) for the arts, and even though I live and work in a country where we have strong public funding for the arts, I suspect that I share your vague “uneasiness” with the notion of “expecting” such support. The grant system in both our countries is very competitive, and is bound to attract all kinds of artists and projects that might indeed “expect” public support… but here at least, very few of us who apply for grants, have any expectation at all, and most would go ahead and make the work without support unless its material or research costs were prohibitive. Maybe I just have a problem with people thinking that they deserve anything at all. It really irks me when Goddard classmates talk about applying for grants, winning Fulbrights, etc. There’s opportunity there, yes, but so often it seems they just want the money and the actual art is secondary. I’m still going to be arting even when my wallet’s empty and I’m eating cardboard sandwiches. To me, it’s the difference between someone who creates for creation’s sake and someone who creates for financial gain. Money is nice, but shit, it’s not everything. Our rational for public funding in Canada is likely quite different from in the U.S. , and has to do with cultural identity, contemporary, cutting edge , non-commercial practice, and a recognition that our “markets” do not always or often support the creation and production of “excellence”, especially of the “made-in-Canada” kind. There’s a certain kind of sadness that I feel when I’m at my parents’ farm half an hour from the border, watching Channel 11 from Canada, and all I see is Seinfeld and 90210 reruns. It’s not just that it’s sad for me to see that broadcast on Canadian television, it’s sad for me to see that broadcast anywhere. I’ve seen enough of original Canadian television to know that there’s great stuff being made, so why would programmers resort to re-running tired American series? It’s the same with other forms of entertainment. I just downloaded the new Barenaked Ladies album from iTunes (an excellent and addictive service, if you ever check it out. far too much piracy-free music available for $0.99; my credit card is weeping.). I remember when BNL was this wacky little Canadian group with fun folky guitar songs, quirky lyrics, an hilarious live show (first concert I saw). Now, it’s the same old homogenized, Americanized pop bullshit. It’s sad, it’s distressing, and I hate that groups would sacrifice something deep and clever and unique to appeal to the lowest common denominator, American pop radio. Sarah MacLachlan anyone? I remember watching her accept a Juno award, and that was something special. I’d rather have the Canadian “versions” of these people than the Americanized versions. I LIKE that they were made in Canada! And frankly, if my governments are going to support research and development in science and medicine and technology and the corporate sector, then I am happy to fight to secure a similar kind of investment in the arts. I agree completely. It’s like the old conflict of funding public schools. What’s the first to go when a school is having financial difficulty? The football team or the art supplies? I interned at a high school where the only art supplies available to the students were Elmer’s glue and cardboard. Lots of cardboard. The school had a hell of a sports program, though. Same thing in undergrad. The fine arts building was literally falling apart, but they dumped millions of dollars into a Division III football team. Perhaps there IS a key to this conundrum in your comment about making “public art” or working with “communities”. When a writer publishes their intellectual property, they own the economic rewards of that work through royalties, yes? When a visual artist shows work in a public gallery (not a commercial one, with an intention to market and sell the work) where no one pays to see it, how do they then “benefit” from the economic rewards traditionally associated with intellectual property? In Canada we pay visual artists an exhibition fee when they show in public galleries… and we do this in recognition of the principle of “payment for public use”. It makes sense to me, especially as art practices emerge where there IS no object or material product to “sell”… where there is only a time-based video work, say, a performance, or an ephemeral site-specific installation. Now that’s an interesting concept: an exhibition fee for public galleries. I’ve never thought about that before, what happens when the pieces aren’t there for commercial gain. I think it’s a great idea; I don’t know if anything like that exists in America or not, since I’m not big into the gallery scene. The whole concept of video as a time-based medium still gets me all gushy inside. It’s just awesome to think of what I create as never really existing as a whole, just fragmented moments of experience, art that only truly exists in memory. Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to video; it parallels living in its position between existence and faded recall. Substantive Work: I am delighted you have ordered the Conversations. I am convinced you will devour it, and will be as delighted with what you learn about writing (from Ondaatje) as what you find in Murch (who in my view is a genius!!!! And an articulate one at that!!!!) These men have really thought about what they do… about the processes involved, about the intentions, the history, the dynamic metaphors… my god, Paul, I cannot wait to hear what you think about this book when you get your teeth into it! More comments below, but holy crap, what a book! As for needle, thanks for including it. I recognize you are revisiting some old ground here, both conceptually and formally, but think it speaks in an interesting way to how you manage, work with, and find ways to deal with sadness or pain through video and music. For me it sits almost like a journal entry, or a poem that one might write upon the loss of a friend, and I like that you can “use” your “art form” to do this more personal process. I’ve been having so much trouble writing lately that I find it interesting that you’d compare this video to a journal entry. Maybe I’m hitting a wall with my writing because I’m putting so much energy into these video projects. There aren’t any words left when the immediacy of these images is slapping me in the face all the time. In editing “needle,” I could sense myself in a very meditative state, and as I was putting segments together, it was like I was writing in my mind. I was assembling a journal entry as I was assembling the video, but I never got around to writing it out. I guess some of it must have bled through into the video instead. And of course, in closing, I will circle back to where I began and hug hard the Lonely Bear. I suspect you have, in this third one, crossed over an edge somehow, into what I call “series mind”. By this I mean you have found not so much a “formula”, but a kind of strategic set of tools, which can then be brought to bear (forgive the pun) on narrative possibilities. This is in fact how I work, not so much in film, but 2-dimensionally… finding a kind of template of possible elements that will form the boundaries of how I explore multiple “encounters”. The “series” is a powerful vehicle to really play deep in a field of meaning, and I am totally supportive of what you are doing here, even IF it is a lot of fun. I’m definitely getting the “series” feel from LB at this point. Discussed more below, but I’m realizing the power in creating a set of elements that can be repeated and subtly altered so that the audience has a certain expectation but experiences the surprises and novelty of experimentation. SO… make more, and more and more… at least until you literally cannot think of another story you might tell with these elements. The other thing I want to encourage you to do, is get them out somehow… to other audiences, other eyes. Put them on a tape, send them to Saturday Night Live, or get them uploaded to a website that attracts lots of viewers, or get them to a local cable station for play on community channels, etc. They really ARE hilariously funny, deeply appealing and I suspect have a much larger audience than they have yet discovered for themselves. Film and video festivals would eat these alive… An Hour with The Lonely Bear…etc. Oh, I’ve been making more and more and more, four for this packet and two more currently in the pipeline. My goal is six for packet five. I’ll admit that I’m afraid of experiencing creative burnout with the bear, but there always seems to be something popping up that I can take advantage of to surprise and entertain the viewers. As far as getting the Lonely Bear out there, I submitted links to albinoblacksheep.com, a heavily-trafficked links site that sent enough people to my ifihadamonkey.com and timeforkink.com sites to flood them and knock them offline until December because of bandwidth overages. Word of mouth for the LB has really been unbelievable. I do plan to have “An Hour With Lonely Bear” at the spring residency. What I’d really like to do, if technologically possible at the time, is shoot and edit a Lonely Bear video while I’m at the residency, which would give you an opportunity to participate as an actress, and it would be an added bonus for viewers who come to the showing, because they’d recognize Goddard landmarks and people, and it might be a lot of fun to encourage student participation while I’m there. “Lonely Bear in the Goddard Cafeteria.” “Lonely Bear Visits the Haunted Manor Second Floor.” “Lonely Bear Walks All The Fuck The Way To The Library.” “Lonely Bear Strikes Out With _____.” You get the idea! So… those are my comments for this round… am rushing off in all directions. Packets streaming in, little film gig shooting this weekend, trip to NYC mid-November to spend some non-cyber non-phone time with my “love”. (How NUTS is this anyway??? 1145 miles as the crow flies, and what crow in their right mind would fly so far in a straight line anyway?) (See? I don’t really “trust” love either!) Ahhh, love is grand. Someday maybe I’ll be in that again. Until then, here’s two lines of American Psycho that I just love: We buy balloons.
Anyway, my dear one, I send you love, the kind you CAN trust, and wish you well on your next packet, which will bring us almost to the finish line of another semester. My God, where does it go, the time? Things speed up because our galaxy is collapsing. I hope I graduate before we flatten out completely. Hugs, and a small kiss for The Lonely Bear, right where his nose
rotted off!
You know, that gives me an idea for a Lonely Bear video to shoot at Goddard: “The Lonely Bear Makes Out with Pam.”
G4 Packet 04 Substantive Work: Video:
G4 Packet 04 Resource List
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