CERTAIN DEVASTATIONS
by Paul Hughes (2007)

you're just a farmer
she said
you smell like cow shit
and there's still some on your boots

i could make my own coffee
he said
instead of buying it from you
even though it's almost midnight

ten minutes till closing
she said
i get off in ten minutes
if you don't want to drink coffee alone

i smell like cow shit
he said
and it takes longer than ten minutes
to get off

you can make your own coffee
she said
but you can't drive on empty
you'll be back tomorrow

this life's done now
he said
i won't smell like cow shit tomorrow
and i won't be buying coffee from you

you'll be back
she said
maybe not ten minutes before closing
and maybe not when i'm here

you're the gas station girl
he said
you sell gasoline and coffee
to guys who smell like cow shit

you're not a farmer after tonight
she said
and maybe you never were so
maybe i can close early and follow you home

i've made the mistake of calling
he said
the place where i live home
and you're just a gas station girl

you're the kind of guy
she said
who has cow shit on his boots
and i'm guessing you carry a picture

i've flown around the world
he said
to be with someone
so don't try to follow me home

you don't look at me
she said
just into that thin wallet
and i see the outline of someone

you have a common facial structure
he said
yours is a common template
and millions have your name

there's less of you now
she said
more of the bones in your face
stick out and your hands shake when i talk

once i was a farmer
he said
hours ago for a time but
i've sung in front of thousands

three packs a day will kill you
she said
i don't believe you can sing
or that you'd sing in front of anyone

i can't remember the number
he said
of the books i wrote for the dead
or the bad reviews the love letters got

in this town reading's a bonus
she said
but there's cow shit on your jeans
and your hands are too big for typing

i've never been west of texas
he said
but there were once reasons
to keep typing to strangers

my husband's out of town
she said
and my son's with my mom
for the night so let me fuck you

iraq really is out of town
he said
and it's nice you dump the baby on your mother
so you can have nights on strangers

each night for months you've ignored me
she said
just gasoline and coffee
whoever she was must have ruined you

at the end of the day i drive the speed limit home
he said
and i stay on my side of the line
and i wait three seconds at all stops

i'm selling you coffee
she said
and i think i must look like
the love of your life

at the end of the day
he said
i'm one swerve from stillness
an archive forgotten

maybe this is all there is
she said
maybe you can let me look like someone
maybe you've already forgotten her taste

there's a picture in my wallet
he said
and the ink is rubbing off on
platinum cards i can't use

you have enough money for coffee
she said
and enough gasoline for one day
so let me close the store and come over

there are certain devastations
he said
that mean so much more than
a gas station girl at midnight

that'll be twenty-two fifty
she said
and i hope you enjoy life
without farming

it's another piece missing
he said
something else to live through
while edges cut into each beat

don't forget to breathe
she said
your eyes are old and your
voice sounds like winter

thank you for talking
he said
and for wanting a guy who
smells like cow shit and has exact change

enjoy your coffee
she said
whatever coffee provides
to the broken at midnight

i hope your husband
he said
comes home soon safely
you should have some more babies with him

i hope whoever
she said
she is knows there's a picture
in that thin wallet you have

i hope whoever
he said
she is remembers but
you're just a gas station girl

there are certain devastations
she said